Emmett's Entertainment
by moosie49
Summary: Sorry for the lack of... um... updation? anyways, its basically funny Emmett with mostly Bella stories... Had fun writing them, so I hope you have fun reading them...
1. Chapter 1

Emmett's Entertainment

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

This is a oneshot, and it's only here because I love it when Emmett teases Bella mercilessly.

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Bella POV:

"What happened to your hand?" Emmett teased.

He knew full well what had happened to my hand today. I fell, again. Stupid, clumsy person I am and it was freshly scabbed on the knuckles.

"I fought a vampire… and this time I won, so you better be afraid, Emmett," I growled jokingly at him. Emmett laughed, unconcerned.

"I'm going to miss all of those funny human things you do when you turn vampire, but I sure hope you stay just as cute!" Emmett joked. "You'll always be the Cullen's vamp pet, though… or something like that."

"Oh gee, thanks, Emmett." I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, why do I put up with you?"

"'Cuz no matter how hard you try not to, you still wuv me," he said laughing. "Plus, you know, secretly, you really want me instead."

"Oh yeah," I said, rolling my eyes, my voice oozing sarcasm . I have rolled my eyes so much during this conversation that I seriously thought they would roll out of my head soon. "that's definitely it, I'm busted."

Reviews? Pretty please??


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Stephenie Meyer's wonderful work.

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Emmett POV:

I am soooooo bored today. There are many days where a vampire becomes bored, and this is one of the worse. Maybe I should go look for Bella because she is funny and she is probably bored, too. Alice and everyone else is out hunting and I am supposed to be babysitting… And I am! Just, not as exclusively as Edward would like me too…

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She was eating a fluffernutter sandwich. Man, at times like these, I really wish I were human again. I really do miss the food. It's one of the only things I remember. And, darn it, that sandwich smelled _really, really _good. Stupid vampires and their need to not eat. It may smell good now, but it will totally ruin the aroma if I eat it… yuck.

I walked in her door at super speed and I saw in her reaction the moment she noticed me. Or maybe it was more like heard and saw.

"GOOD GOD EMMETT!" She jumped up and knocked herself and the chair over in the process.

I snickered, "Man, I hope Edward doesn't let you become vampire anytime soon. You are hilarious." I saw her face go red. (I can resist Bella, she doesn't tempt me anymore, because how can somebody so effing hilarious be anything more than hilarious and lovable?)

"DO YOU HAVE TO SNEAK UP ON ME?!" She screamed at me. She was breathing heavily and her leg had a bruise forming.

"Aw man, why'd you have to go and fall Bella? Now I have to have Edward breathing down my back for the next three months about how irresponsible I am," I grumbled.

"Haha it was worth it. Look at your face. Its totally red. My little tomato sister!" I laughed with affection.

"Yeah, well at least I don't have a head too small for my huge chest!" She stuck her tongue out at me.

"Well at least I'm not too clumsy for my own good," I stuck my tongue out back at her.

"She got all red and started to walk away only to trip over a banana peel, yes I know, I am very unimaginative, that I had set there, hoping she would slip and fall.

I was right. She slipped and fell right on her butt.

"EMMETT!"

"Yes my little tomato?"

"YOU ARE SUCHA JERK!" She hollered at me and started to walk away again, to proceed up the stairs, and I ran past to block her on the top step.

"Aww, come on Bella. That was _really_ funny. You know it, and I am so bored. I got stuck here babysitting YOU. You should be a little more considerate!"

At that last comment, Edward came inside from hunting only to growl at Emmett, telling him not to be such a jerk. Emmett basically laughed hysterically shrieking "BYE, BYE MY LITTLE TOMATO!" as Rosalie dragged him away by his feet, his face in the dirt.

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Reviews pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? Please, please, please…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Emmett POV

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"Hey, human."

"Hey, cannibal," she sniffled at me.

"Technically, I am not a cannibal," I told her. _Score one for Em Cullen… _Oops. Did I say that out loud? I don't think so…

"Oh go jump off of a building, and leave me alone, Emmett!" Bella told me, crankily.

"Actually," I said, my retort handy, "it's a cliff and that's you area of experience. Silly Isabella!" I watched, for the millionth time, my sister go very red in the face.

"we were sitting on Edward's leather couch, waiting for Bella's soup to finish warming up. Bella was sick with the Flu, and she only let me know about it after everyone had left to go "camping" and I had volunteered to baby-sit. Bella was supposedly having a sleepover with 'Lonely Alice,' or so Charlie thought.

_Beep._

"Emmett, make yourself useful and go get me some soup."

Boy, why is she only this pushy and demanding when it's me? "Fine, but you better be grateful." I stuck my thumbs in my ears, my tongue out and wiggled my fingers at her.

"You know what?" She said in a huff, "I'll get it myself."

I got it to her, with out spilling a drop, before she could even throw the blanket off.

"Well." She said, flustered.

"'Well'…" I prompted.

"Aww… Emmett, it's bad enough that I'm PMSing, but with having the Flu, can't you be a little bit more sympathetic.

"Have you ever realized that 'Sympathetic' has the word 'pathetic' in it?" Yeah, I'll admit it. I felt a little guilty. Only a little, though. Not enough to stop teasing her.

I laughed. "So… whatcha wanna do, Bella? Watch TV? Trip over something? Prank calls? Read?" She noticed my change of subject.

"What, are you feeling guilty, Mr. Cullen? Do you feel bad for poking fun at a sick person?" She snickered.

Obviously, you missed the second choice, or you wouldn't be asking that. Let me," I laughed, "repeat. Whatcha wanna do, Bella? Watch TV? Trip over something?"

Next thing I know, Alice is ripping my hair out of my head saying, "Apologize right now and give her a hug," her tone deadly serious.

As I hugged Bella, I heard her whisper in my ear, "Score one for Bell Swan," and she quietly snickered in my ear until Alice and Edward joined in with huge,. Belly deep laughter while I pouted and yelled, "I will win, Isabella Swan. Just you wait!"

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A/N: Sorry that these are so short, I'm really trying to make them longer. Someday, some chapter, I'll get there… Reviews?? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? Please, please, please…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Enjoy it, please.

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Bella POV:

Emmett stole me. I can't believe this. I really hope Edward kills him. At least, at the moment I do, sitting here wrapped up in bubble wrap to my neck. But maybe I can have some fun with this…

-Later-

"Bella!" I was being shaken awake now by a frightened sounding Emmett, and because Emmett sounded scared, I was immediately terrified of some unknown monster. Emmett is NEVER scared.

"Bella!"

"What? What is it!" I screamed.

Emmett pointed to an unknown object on the dashboard, "_It knows where we are!_" He whispered, petrified.

I immediately shied away from the electronic program thing.

When I finally gained some courage, I poked it.

"Turn left in 2.5 miles to reach destination, 15 Carlisle Road"

Emmett screamed like a little girl, and I immediately burst into laughter.

"It's worse than James…" he whimpered.

"Emmett…" I giggled, "it's a GPS system," I laughed hysterically at him, "not a stalker!"

Yup maybe it was worth being stolen to make fun of Emmett… When the heck did we buy a GPS?

-Later-

"I named her Darla."

"That's nice," he said, still not so happy with the GPS system.

"When possible make a U-turn," she said.

"When possible make a U-turn," she said again.

"When possible make a U-turn," she was saying very fast.

"When possible make a U-turn."

"When possible make a U-turn."

"When possible make a U-turn."

"I think she's sick," I commented.

"When possible make a U-turn."

"When possible make a U-turn."

"When possible make a U-turn."

"Definitely," Emmett said, relieved. "Can we turn it off now?"

"Are you still scared of her?"

"No! I am not scared of anything!"

"Alright, then help her get better."

"Well," he said, "when someone is sick they have to get lots of fluids and rest."

"Well, she's electronic, so no fluids…. But maybe we should charge her?"

"YES!" Emmett shouted, happy as could be. "Turn it off and charge it!"

"Alright…" I said reluctantly.

END

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REVIEW REVIEW! psychotic voice screams


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**** I'm really sorry about not updating sooner. I just haven't had much inspiration for my fan fictions, so I've been focusing on my fiction press stories and poems.**

Emmett POV:

"Bella, guess what?"

"What?" She sighed, clearly bored with the current moment.

"I believe… we should play a game I made up…"

"Oh man… Okay, I'll bite. What game?" She asked, immediately wary.

"We should try to pull pranks on each other."

Bella looked doubtful.

"Come on Bella! Please? I'll even let you get away with a few pranks," I begged.

"Fine. Go ahead."

I giggled and moved extremely fast, tying her shoe laces together as she went to stand up. I didn't touch anything but her laces, but still she fell on her bottom.

She sighed, already exasperated. "I had so much faith in you Emmett. I thought you'd come up with something a little more creative considering how many years you've been able to have trouble making thoughts."

She tied her shoelaces up right and walked away. I let her seethe.

Bella POV:

Good god, Emmett gets bored a lot. I can use this to my advantage, I suppose.

He probably thinks I'm taking a walk; sulking. Haha. It'll just be all that much more surprising when he figures out what I am really doing out here.

I found some silly sting in the trunk of his red jeep because Emmett is just so prepared to cause trouble, of course. I sprayed blue and pink and yellow silly sting all over and inside the jeep… and unwrapped a car part (I'm sure Rosalie wont mind me borrowing the bubble wrap.) I stuck it on both sides of every tire, not knowing which way he would drive out. I rolled my shoulders and poked myself in the eyes to make it look like I'd been crying and walked back inside.

"Emmett," I sniffed to add effect to it.

"Bella? You okay?"

"No. I need _sanitary napkins._" I squeezed my eyes together to make a tear pop out. Who knew I was such a good actress? Not me, not Edward…

"Oh…" Emmett was quiet for a second. "I'll go get some." He said eager for the chance to ride in his jeep.

-10 Minutes LATER-

I heard a high pitched scream. Then a bunch of popping, and a curse that I will not soil your eyes with.

For a vampire he sure is very unobservant.

"BELLA!!" He screamed. Then he drove away, probably to the nearest car wash.

-three hours later!!-

"Hey Emmett?"

"WHAT?" He asked in a voice that was irritable and sulky.

"I win, right?"

"Fine."

I know he saw my happy jig.

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Since I finally updated, do I get a review?


	6. Chapter 6

AN: YAY!!! FINALLY!!!

Chapter 6

"I am going to kill this computer!" Emmett shrieked.

I looked up. "Well, I'd assume that you'd know the keyboard by now, considering how long you've had to learn it. This class shouldn't be a problem for you."

I heard Rosalie snicker in the seat behind me, next to Emmett, and saw Bella cover her laugh with her hand.

There were two columns on the floor in front of Miss Gard's desk. In each column, there were three rows, four seats in each row. Bella sat next to me, me on the outside. Alice was next to Bella, then Jasper, on the outside. Rosalie and Emmett were behind me, and Angela was next to Rosalie, on the inside, next to Ben on the outside.

"Shut up, you pianist." Emmett growled, so like the grizzlies he loves. Rosalie and Bella giggled again.

We are all in a typing/computer class together, so we all have a number of lessons we have to complete to learn the keyboard without looking. We must do this before we learn to do other things, like typing up documents like memos and stories and learn things on the computer. We must do this because it is mandatory class. For some reason, we must know how to type for college.

Emmett isn't very good at not looking at the keyboard. In fact, he peeks every time he can. He is on lesson six. Bella, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and myself are in the lesson range nine to eleven. Bella being on eleven with Jasper, Alice and myself.

Alice just ignores him when he gets like this. He has no patience for things like this, and Alice already knows what the computer will tell us to type before it does. When he gets this irritated, we all laugh hysterically at him, and the other kids in the class are caught between being afraid and wanting to laugh at him.

"I am going to kill it dead. First of all, I typed what it told me to, and it told me I had too many errors when I had none. Second, these sentences are too stupid to be considered real sentences. 'Jack is going to fix the pot at six.' Why can't Jack just buy a new pot? What is the point in buying a new one? What is wrong with it?"

"He can't buy a new pot because you haven't gotten to the lesson with 'b' yet. Maybe he needs the pot? It's obviously broken." Alice mumbled, obviously brain-dead from the lessons. Its understandable, considering we've been at this for half an hour.

Emmett ignored her. "Why is there pudding in Irv's nose? Why is he putting it there if he wants to get it out anyway?" He was practically sobbing with frustration by now. He was also growling. "What the hell is the point of this class?"

"Aw, look, he's frustrated with himself. How cute!!!!" Bella shrieked in a girly voice that got the class's attention. Rosalie laughed uncontrollably.

"I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THIS!!!" Emmett shouted.

"Mr. Cullen," the teacher said in a very articulated voice, "Do I need to send you to the office?"

_You jerk. You hot jerk. _Well, I guess the teacher has the hots for Rose's man. I snorted. Trouble if I tell her…

"Rose," I said in the quiet voice that only vampires and very close up people could hear. "Teacher _likes_ Emmett…"

She snarled quietly, but was drowned out by Emmett's frustrated noises.

_Well, too bad. He was always so pretty. I have to mar his wonderful record. NO! Abby, he's too young for you. And as a teacher, these thoughts aren't recommended. Add that to the fact that he's dating his foster sister. It's almost incest._

I didn't want to hear anymore. I listened to what the class was thinking.

Angela: _Rosalie is so pretty, it's insane. I shouldn't be jealous, its not very nice, but I can't help it. The good thing is Ben isn't interested at all. Maybe we'll go to that Italian restaurant this weekend… Ha ha, Emmett is getting really frustrated with this. Its funny to watch everyone tease him._

Ben: _I don't know how much longer I can sit here without talking to Angela. MUST CONCENTRATE ON TYPING. Haha, Bella is laughing at Emmett and Edward keeps teasing him… is that lust I see in the teacher's eyes?_

Rosalie: _Emmett, you bumbling buffoon. This is quite amusing. Bella and I will never let you live this down. _…internal giggle…

Jasper: _The air is full of too many emotions. Ben and Angela are both in a blissfully unaware state of feeling. Wish I were, too… Alice is concentrating… Emmett is irritated, and its hard to send calm around when he's so free with his emotions. Rosalie is between amusement, and that tiny speck of love that's always there for Emmett. Bella is so lost in laughter I think she might fall off her chair. Edward is just lost in a world of trying to read everyone's mind. I imagine he's reading mine… ANYTHING INTERESTING, EDDIE?_

Alice:_ l l l l lol lol lol j j j j jhj jhj jhj jhj k k k k k k,k k,k k,k k,k ,k,……._

Emmett: _Stupid computer… stupid school system…. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU USELESS KEYBOARD. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU USELESS, OVERLY OBNOXIOUS COMPUTER. I WILL BEAT YOU WITH A HELLO KITTY GARBAGE CAN… WITH A RADIO… I'LL STAB YOU WITH MY TOOTHBRUSH!_

Bella: _Nothing. (AN: ha ha loser! You can't read her mind. Just kidding, Edward!)_

Finally, after having to listen to Emmett whine and complain, the class ended with a teacher lusting for a student, Emmett supremely irritated and a few Cullens (and Bella) laughing at the insanity of it all.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Please disregard the fact that Edward keeps letting "baby-sit" Bella, no matter how many horrible things he and Bella do to each other…

Disclaimer: Sorry about forgetting the last one…. Anyways, I don't own Twilight, or any of the original beauty. T_T

Emmett POV:

I am going to embarrass Bella. I have to soon, or she'll think she's won this little game of pranks and tricks.

I quietly shuffle around Rose's stuff, looking for the best torture device for my dear little friend. Finally my eyes have the privilege of being cast upon a hair dryer/blower, whatever you want to call it.

I took a spray bottle, those insanely soundproof earplugs for sleep, and some hair brushes.

I silently crept into Bella's room, where she peacefully rested, looking hardly monstrous under the innocence of sleep. I snorted, quietly. Yeah, right. Innocent my butt.

Putting the ear plugs in her ears, I silently laid out my equipment, and plugged in the hairdryer. I began to get her hair wet, moist, really. Then I began the process that would make her hair puff out like those cats in the cartoons.

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Bella POV:

I woke up and stretched. What time is it? How long have I been asleep, how long has Emmett had to pull something over me?

Too long.

I walked to the bathroom to have my human moment, and stopped dead when I was able to look into the mirror.

Holy cow.

I am going to kill Emmett.

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Emmett POV: (once again)

I heard the shriek about ten minutes after I had my equipment put away.

I had to hold in my laughter as Bella stormed down the stairs, mad as in mad as a hatter, and also the mad as in angry.

She looked so comical standing there, angry with her hair all... Well, you can just imagine my feelings on the situation. Hilarious. She looked like Tanya does after hunting in the water and then running at the speed of a car.

"EMMETT! EMMETT! YOU IDIOTIC VAMPIRE. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOUR FAMILY HAS PUT UP WITH YOU ALL THESE YEARS!" She was screaming like a banshee.

Oh, man, I finally realized, I'm going to be in big trouble when they get back from hunting.

Rose is going to kill me for using her precious beauty products for such a heinous act.

Edward is going to kill me for making Bella go insane.

Alice is going to kill me because she'll be mad she didn't see this coming.

Esme is going to kill me for falling down in laughter right on top of the living room table, and breaking it.

I don't think I can be dead enough times to satiate these vampires. It's a good thing I can't die easily. It's also a good thing I am stonger than everyone else.

Reviews Please?!?!? Begs on knees on top of pointy rocks…. ^.^


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Yay three chapters in one day… I'm repenting, okay? Sorry about the lack of updates the past many weeks….

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Emmett POV:

I think Bella is trying to make me leave her alone through force with embarrassing topics.

Being a guy, I am pretty open on many subjects. Unfortunately, Bella picked one of the few that I am completely and utterly scared stiff of.

Women and men alike worst enemy.

You might know her as…

Aunt Ruby.

Wilma.

The big red friend.

The crimson wave.

The rebooting of the ovary system.

The big red dot.

Indeed, Bella is PMSing, and I really don't want to talk about it.

"Emmett," she said while I was trying to irritate her in my boredom, "did you know there are three stages of PMS?"

"No Bella, I did not, and I really don't care to find out." I grumbled, scared already.

Being a vampire, I can smell when any female's Aunt Ruby is visiting. It's too diluted to be any temptation, that and the fact that it smells horrible to a vampire.

"Well, I have cramps and I have to distract myself. So the first stage, Emmett, is the Pre-MSing… which occurs about two days ahead of the tsunami of the crimson wave. Then there is Pending-MSing. This is the stage I am currently in," she said with a flush of embarrassment flooding her face. "Lastly, there is Post-MSing. This is the cranky stage where women and men alike are grateful for the passing. They are flooded with relief, buy women are still cranky because they had to deal with Wilma."

"Good god." I said, embarrassed and as close to blushing with awkwardness that any vampire can be.

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Reviews PLEASE? THIS ONE IS FUN!!!


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Just to let you know, the three girls are based on some of my friends, the hamster girl, Kayla, the optical illusion girl, Amy.

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Bella POV:

Emmett is taking me to the science fair tonight. He hates science. What fun this will be…

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Haha. Emmett is yelling at a kid for being stupid. He is at the project a kid did on Hamsters. I must admit the child was foolish to entertain Emmett so long.

"Hamsters aren't nocturnal! Just because a few are, that doesn't mean the rest are too. Just because one person likes purple doesn't mean the rest of the human population likes purple. You are STEREOTYP ING!" He screamed at the poor kid.

"ALL HAMSTERS ARE NOCTURNAL, YOU ARROGANT IDIOT," the kid screamed, going red in the face.

"Fine, feed the general public information that makes you look like an idiot." Emmett walked off in a huff over the lack of brains some people have.

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Now, Emmett is yelling a little girl with a seemingly shy disposition. I felt bad for her. I mean, here is this stunning older guy lecturing me about my project on the sound waves an electric guitar produces.

"The waves are just that, wavy! That's the only type of wave there is!"

"No, there are others. I know it, I researched it really hard and worked on this project with my friend. She's really smart, so there's no way we could have false information," she quietly stated, but Emmett wasn't listening. He was already walking away, towards the optical illusions table. Onto the next poor victim.

"I'm sorry my friend is such a jerk," I said to the little girl. She honestly looked like she was about to cry.

"It's okay."

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"I DON'T SEE ANYTHING BUT A WEIRD SHAPE! THIS IS SUCH A RIP OFF!" Emmett was shrieking by the time I walked over to him.

The girl looked like she was just about to rip Emmett a new one.

"YOU MINDLESS HORSE FACED IDIOT." She was attracting some attention. You don't see anything because you don't want to."

"FINE!!!!" Emmett hollered at her and walked away.

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I walked into a room that was used like a cafeteria, and the three girls were sitting there, simmering with anger.

"I wish I could make him think hamsters were chewing away at him." The one girl said.

"I wish I could give him a headache with waves," another girl grumbled.

"I WISH I COULD MAKE HIM THINK HE IS GOING INSANE!" The optical illusion girl said.

"I think I can help…" I chuckled at the girls' expressions. "Here's what we should do…"

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TO BE CONTINUED…. IN THE NEXT CHAPTER….

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	10. Chapter 10

AN: Hello, and welcome back to the Moosie49 show. This is the continuation of Chapter 9, so enjoy the ending to a revenge filled chapter. J

Bella POV:

"I wish I could make him think hamsters were chewing away at him." The one girl said.

"I wish I could give him a headache with waves," another girl grumbled.

"I WISH I COULD MAKE HIM THINK HE IS GOING INSANE!" The optical illusion girl said.

"I think I can help…" I chuckled at the girls' expressions. "Here's what we should do…"

As I explained my method of revenge to the girls, who were, by the way, thrilled with my offer of helping, we heard Emmett screaming at another poor person all the way from the other room.

"We need to trip him, then put some of those glasses you have," I pointed to the optical illusion girl, who had some glasses that were really cool, they made everything look sideways and upside down, depending on the thing you are looking at. Then I looked at the wave girl. "You have your guitar?"

"Yeah, for presentations. Have the amplifier, too." She mumbled shyly, but with an angry, excited fervor.

"Good, we'll set it up in the hallway." I pointed to the girl with the hamsters. "I can't think of anything for you to do. Maybe you can go get some Swedish fish for all of us to share as we watch the show?" She nodded excitedly.

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"Emmett, come check this out! It's a picture one of the students did in art class, and it's really good!" I hollered to Emmett, and he came over.

"What-" but he was tripped too soon to finish the question.

I ran up as he was on the floor and put the glasses on him, but he was too distracted to notice until he opened his eyes. Then, he freaked out…

"What the hell-o kitty?!" He bellowed.

"Something wrong, Emmett, dear?" I smirked, but he couldn't see that.

"Shells yeah, something is wrong!" He shouted at me, "I'm seeing everything upside down!"

"Then you should probably see Carlisle about that. I don't think you're supposed to…"

Then the guitar started…. At an extremely loud volume. Of course, it must have been louder, considering Emmett has super vampire senses.

"Why is it so loud?!" He screamed over the ever rising din.

"What are you talking about, Emmett?" I said. "I don't hear anything except you screaming at me."

Finally, after he looked like he was going to burst, everything stopped as I took the glasses off, he was so angry as we stood there, laughing. I laughed even harder as the hamster girl offered him a Swedish fish that he obviously didn't want to eat.

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ReVIEW PLEASE!?!

PS: The "Shells yeah" and "what the Hell-o kitty" are from a friend, the hamster girl…


	11. Chapter 11

AN: The website this story is based on is real. Enjoy chapter 11.

PSSSSSS: Emmett is not baby sitting Bella this time.

*Winks conspicuously at Holly and Lory*

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Emmett POV:

_I am so sick of being prey to the tricks and pranks of a stupid human. I think I should do something horrible to Bella… I begin to ponder my sudden task. I think I'll use the internet this time, considering I actually know how to use it after that computer class I took…_

I looked around on the internet, looking for the funniest, for me, and most annoying, for Bella. Finally I came up with the Most Annoying Website. Looked fun, so I tried it. After going through the website, I decided it was the perfect thing to give to my dear sister.

I logged on the internet, and looked for Bella, who was online.

Bella POV:

BoulderPusher5: 'Ello dear sister

SparkleLover9: hello dear brother ?

BoulderPusher5: HEY! I found the most awesome link ever!

The best link ever? Should I be scared? Maybe…

BoulderPusher5: you still there?

SparkleLover9: yeah send the link.

I clicked on the link he sent me, curios as to what I would find.

And guess what it was. A gazillion of those little pop up things where you have to click the big OK, no matter what they say, and you can't X out of the page. So they say some random things, commenting on how helpless I am and how it could keep me here forever, and how I have to say ok, and about how there is this awesome surprise at the end, and the fact that I can't X out, but if I press enter or the space bar, it is like pressing ok.

SparkleLover9: Emmett, the next time I see you, I am going to glue you head to the computer screen.

BoulderPusher5: Ha ha, you are helpless

Finally, after I'm just about ready to shut down my computer, I get to the end. 200 pop ups. Yup. 200. Of. Those. Freaking. Pop. Ups. You can guess how angry I was to get to the end, and only see a blank page with the words, "you have just endured the worlds most annoying web site. Congratulations."

SparkleLover9: I am going to get you so bad for this.

I ended up searching the web for something that would annoy him even more, and I found it. There was a part two to that stupid website. YAY! So the next time I went over to Edward's house, I went to Emmett's computer and pulled up the web site I had found earlier.

I left, and when Emmett came home and went to the computer, you could faintly hear a "What the… ?" Then he shrieked, "BELLA!!!"

I knew my trick had been pulled off when Edward started laughing uncontrollably, no doubt hearing every one of Emmett's frustrated yelps.

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ReViEwS pLeAsE?????????????????????

Ps: SparkleLover9 was Bella and BoulderPusher5 was Emmett, in case you couldn't tell…


	12. Chapter 12

So here we are again…I haven't updated since '09. Holy…wow. Well, hello-kitty again, to all the old reviewers, I thought a reunion chapter is in order.

While my feelings for the Twilight Saga have changed immensely since '09, I decided to update. Because I care about all of you reviewers who faithfully reviewed EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER. Yeah, that's right. This is for you. Because…because honestly, I feel that Twilight exploits teenaged girls and subconsciously sets nonsense in their minds that they will never be able to achieve. But enough of that… so…. Here we go.

This time, we're going to a chorus concert(:

Emmett's POV

I was babysitting again. It seems like so long ago that I was carefree, Edward was long gone, and all I had to do was drive my Jeep and hunt some grizzly bears. How things change.

Bella was sitting up front with Angela, who held her camera slightly to the side, as to look at the risers in front of the stage. I moved down the aisle, thinking that once it got dark I should sit with her or Edward would have a cow. Not literally, because when he sucks their blood farmers around here get a little suspicious and come out with their guns.

The older girls got on, and as the piano was playing a girl who looked about 16 stepped up to the microphone. She started talking about Christmas, and how one Christmas Eve her father saw a goose or something run across and how it was the Christmas Goose. She moved back to the risers as the girls behind her started to sing about what the thing that ran across their lawn could have been. About two verses in I looked up and started to grumble.

"It's a GOOSE. They already told us it's a GOOSE."

"Shh," Bella growled at me. "You're ruining Angela's video."

Bella's POV

"It's a GOOSE," Emmett said, rather obnoxiously, his voice rising three octaves on Goose.

"I know! I know they already told us it was a goose, but shut up. That's not the point of the song."

"Then what exactly," he challenged, "is the point of the song? Hmmm? Because I CERTAINLY do not see one."

"Well, I have no idea, you won't shut up long enough for me to gauge it"

"Fine. But I'm telling you. It's already a Goose. We could have avoided this entire song if they'd just told the story and moved on."

I looked at Angela. "I'm sorry. He's ruining your video."

"It's okay. My sister isn't in this group anyways. Plus, I kind of agree with him."

Emmett's POV

"This song never ends. It just keeps going and going. It's like the animal could be five billion different types of animals, and we'd never know except we do know because they told us it was a goose." I didn't even bother whispering this time, said it at the full capacity of my vocal range. The song was getting old, and I was tired of listening.

"Are you trying to get me thrown out of here?" Bella growled at me, and it was like someone lit a light bulb directly over my head.

I started clapping in the middle of the song, as loudly as I could, looking around giving whistles.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be ostentatious."

"Let's go Bella," I said loudly. "We have to get back anyways. Let's go Bella. Bella Swan." I enunciated her name. She put her head in her hands, to my delight, her face turning that great shade of tomato again.

I poked her in the shoulder.

No response.

I poked her again.

No response.

I poked her again.

"Bella Swan can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you. Unless your name is Emmett Cullen. Then I'll never return your message, your poke, or even acknowledge your existence. Beeep."

I smirked at her, and picked her up, grabbing her bag in the process.

"What the hello kitty are you doing?"

"We're leaving. It's time to go."

She started kicking and screaming, throwing a tantrum. And true to human nature, no one even bothered to look at me. Their instincts were to strong, telling them to leave me be. DANGER, DANGER.

"Put me down you crazy…crazy…crazy DANCING FLOWER! Put me down!"

"No."

"Emmett, if you don't put me down I'll tell Edward you dropped me on the floor."

"Edward doesn't scare me, he just get's a little whiney, and over protective." I smiled at her. "There is nothing you can do that would make me put you down."

"Don't challenge me, I have the ONE thing that will scare you out of your wits. I'm warning you, I don't want to use it, but I kept it just in case. Now put me down."

"Nope, you don't have anything," I smiled, "you are bluffing."

She pulled something out of the bag that was over my shoulder.

"Turn left and drive 3.5 miles before taking a left to reach 15 Carlisle Road. You are 15 miles from your destination. Estimate Time of Arrival: one hour and fifty-two minutes."

I dropped her and backed away. She put it in her back pocked and walked away. As she did so, she looked over her shoulder. "I believe that makes the score even again."

She thought she was so cool, but the effect was ruined when she stumbled and slipped a little bit on the ice, catching herself before she fell. I snickered, thinking that maybe I would have my day, some day, when Bella Swan would cower before the sheer awesomeness of my pranks, as they ruled over her archaic tricks with a brevity that did not match my long term laughter worthy pranks. (AN: yeah, it's a long thought, but it's his thought.)

Yeah, I know it kind of sucked this time around, but hey, I need to restart somewhere, right?

Anyways, I don't know if I should write more, so if you'd like to see anything in particular happen, let me know in the comments...

Reviews would be a lovely gift, especially since I wrote this instead of starting a term paper tonight. (:


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